White Lies and The Golden Rule: The Ethics Behind Babysitting
- Stephanie Dal Porto
- Sep 16, 2020
- 3 min read
Author's Note: This post reflects the concepts and ideas learned in Chapter 2 from "Media Ethics: Issues and Cases" by Philip Patterson, Lee Wilkins, and Chad Painter. It is used for educational purposes.
CHAPTER 2 – Many college students have already had plenty of experience with childcare, specifically babysitting. Whether it be working with rambunctious children that scream until their heart’s content or children that sit calmly – the “perfect little angels – most of us can say we’ve been through it all. And if you haven’t, you’re lucky.
Most of the time we face ethical dilemmas in our everyday lives – especially while babysitting – that often make us think about the things we’ve said or done. For me, I often find myself thinking about the times I have had to tell a white lie to children I’ve babysat for, to “save” them from the realities in life, ultimately saving the waterworks. For children, these realities could be me lying when they are crying because they miss their mom. In that case, I tell them that their mom will be home sooner than the reality – to avoid conflict. Or, it could mean I tell them we’ll go to the park tomorrow if they finish all of their carrots when in reality, I’m ninety-percent sure they’ll forget but still incentivizing them to eat their food – benefitting the child and me.
However, when it comes to the world of journalism and babysitting…They couldn’t be any more different. However, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t any connections to draw between the two. Considering Sissela Bok’s questioning, understanding, and conclusions of the overarching inquiry if it is ever ethical to lie, I begin to consider if these white lies, I tell the kids babysit are ethical? If so, to what extent? If not, how does it violate general codes of ethics?
In this situation, Sissela Bok would have us question if the white lie served a larger social good, and if the act of lying means we are willing to be lied to in return. These questions can apply to all walks of life. From a babysitter to an NYT journalist, Bok sees that when one lies, even if it is a white lie, they wish to walk away – no strings attached. Essentially, the person lying not only receives the benefits from the lie but now holds and maintains all of the power in a situation – making us continue to question: At what cost does the lie come at? How will it affect me and those around me?
Reflecting upon the harmless white lies I told to children I have watched in the past, I often wonder if the child deserves a transparent truth or if, as Bok thinks, the white lie brings upon a larger social good? Additionally, while I would never like to be lied to, I agree with the white lies occasionally when it comes to babysitting. This is something that Kant would find confusing and contradictory, according to his beliefs. Kant’s Categorical Imperative is applicable to white lies, for he thinks that those who lie, even if it is a white lie, must also be okay with being lied to.
When we take a step back and understand how everyday white lies build up in social life and professional settings, we can call to mind Kant’s Categorical Imperative, which focuses on the idea of the “Do unto others” concept. This concept seamlessly intertwines in but is not limited to the world of childcare. When conflicts arise, we tell that quick white lie for a speedy solution, but we must not forget to call to mind Bok’s and Kant’s beliefs in such situations, asking ourselves: How would we want someone to act towards us?
In a world without lies – one that is difficult to imagine – we wouldn't have to take into consideration Bok’s questioning and Kant’s Categorical Imperative. We would tell the children we watch the truth and nothing but the truth. However, at what cost does this come at?
Considering the ethical decision making behind the mind is something that is often overlooked. However, when we step back and remind ourselves of the lessons – the ethical-decision-making choices - we unknowingly teach the kids we babysit, we often forget that they intertwine with Kant’s values and Bok's ethical questioning
Have you had a similar experience babysitting? How did you respond? Did you ever consider the ethics behind your decision-making? Let me know in the comments below on your experience(s) and how you handled them!
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